Love Will Not

I find myself on a stony path at the edge of a precipice, starring into a black oblivion. I ask myself, as all we must, how did I end up here?

 Myself turned to me and gravely pointed out the roads we had travelled, “It is the dark side of human nature that has driven us in this direction. Selfishness, deceit, fear, loathing, these are the easiest to transverse, smoothly paved highways beyond the reach of all who suffer the indignity of poverty, disease and oppression.

This is the place that the journey of the blind ends. What can save us now that our destination is upon us, what will stop us from stepping over the edge, into the plummeting end we so richly deserve?”

“Love,” was my answer without hesitation, “love will not let us fall.”

The Falling

I didn't like what I’d see,
But I knew the darkness would be lifted.
A life so precious a gift
Too soon wasted on the rocks of a man-made cliff.

She spoke to my broken bones from the corner of the street,
“I live with the sunrise
And die under a million stars.
I am the tide that crushes the stones
Only to recede into the murky moonlight.” 

Suddenly I loved her.
The overbearing understanding of her nature, 

Appealed to my temporary self.

I reached for one soft touch
Blood dripping from my skin,
A tenderness of a passing kiss.

But the sun was falling in the west,
She faded like she wasn't there
And left me lying in the dark.

The Tiger and the Flowers

I read the book they hope will sprout flowers of remorse in my damned soul as the sun breaks through the prison bars. 

She comes to me more like a dream than a memory, standing on Denmark Street sandy hair whipping across her face, dark skirt dancing about soft lined thighs, and knee-high boots that could break a priest.

She brushes aside the strands to reveal those emerald eyes, that painted skin, those razor cheekbones, those crimson lips. “Sarah,” I whisper out loud, the other man in the cell shifts uncomfortably in the bunk below.

How you rattled my heart, with those eyes on that May morning and the nights of endless music that followed. Why did the song have to end? 

As the axe came down against her skull I knew she would be eternal. No other would see her like this, she would never fade or grow old and she would always belong to me.

Love is a hungry tiger and unrequited love will consume you until it is as if you never existed in the first place.I begin to laugh, the man beneath protests strongly, but I can’t hear him. 

I'm still laughing when he drags me from my cot and snaps a heavy shot across my cheek with a mighty fist.

I laugh as I pin him down and smash his head into the concrete floor after a combination of my own. His skull makes a wet squelching thud on the second blow between my blooded fingers buried in his hair.

The laughter stops as he goes limp. I pull the broken remains of his nose to mine “Sarah!” I hear myself scream, it rises again and again. I'm still screaming her name as they drag me away to the gleeful cries of my fellow inmates.

My throat hurts and the screams fade to pitiful sobs. Yes, flowers will grow. 

The Walk Home

Dear Reader

 Due to circumstances of a nature I am yet to understand, I have recently been forced to walk 20 minutes from Carnaby street to Chancery Lane every morning to get on the tube. At first this seemed to monumentus grievance but this is far from the truth.

London is a stunning city and as locals we tend forget that buried in the hustle and bustle of our day to day troubles. So to celebrate this fact I took some photos for you to enjoy:

   

Dear friends, relatives and frelatives

Dear friends, relatives and frelatives

At this time of celebration Tina, Harry and I would like to share with you the ups and downs what has been a turbulent year.

I am glad to say, after her third stint in rehab Tina has finally conquered her addiction to conkers, this has made her a much happier person, my sunny disposition of course is still mostly reliant on the liberal use of alcohol, antidepressants and class A drugs. 

Harry is finally coming out of his shell. He has joined the local track and field club, excelling in the 100m sprint which he completes in just under 11 days. It’s very disappointing.

Tina is insistent that I take up vegetarianism for health reasons, my response being that I intend on dying covered in the blood of my enemies, surrounded by their marinating carcasses.

By enemies I mean cows, pigs, chickens and all of whom have made the fatal error of being born delicious and slow witted.  

In April we endeavoured to create the country’s very first urban fox hunting club on our estate. Instead of horses and beagles we were to use bicycles and local dogs; 6 staffordshire terriers, 2 jack russells and a large cat named Spot.

Our efforts came to an abrupt halt when the authorities turned up. We explained that we had no intention of killing any foxes we merely wanted to round them up and educate them in proper bin raiding etiquette and such. 

They pointed out that several of our bikes were stolen from the local elementary school and that Spot was actually a small child in a particularly convincing onesy.

Apart from occasionally frightening the locals at Waitrose, by dressing up in a hoodie and asking where the discount beer at, I believe we have finally been accepted into the lower middle class society that is Wanstead.

Merry Christmas everybody and happy New Year.

Kindly yours,

Troy, Harry and Tina    

The thing he sells

The windows burnt with morning fire, so I moved across the table like a spider and poured the poison from the glass. The TV whistled and hummed with stars. All I saw was the dull ache that rots; death, hate and putrid states of being.

I must leave this place.

So I moved across the table like a spider through the broken door of my dreams and into the joyless sunlight. With fresh pain to sell the man, I placed my heart on a train that never stopped, to a desk that sounded like hungry teeth grinding. And as the moments beckoned, delighting in my misery I set my pen to the ground. I dug the grave of a thousand words and they paid in drops of my own blood.

I must leave this place.

Night crept and broke the heat with cool suits and the promise of love. So I moved across the table like a spider, through the ice that formed. Freedom stood open chested and beaten with the cat. I licked her face for just one sweet taste but her tears were acid and her skin began to flake. I sat to figure the situation; what had just began? At the other end the liquid stood waiting to be consumed.

I must leave this place. 

So I moved across the table and poured the poison from the glass.       

The Winter

Coats cling tightly to huddle figures in the wind. Night splits temporarily by the buzzing street lights’ yellow glow.

The bus waits.

Her hands rise to fend off his pleas, heart broken by a thousand deep and everlasting cuts.

He reaches for one last chance only to be brushed aside, her voice beating away his advances; she tilts her head downwards so as not to see him cry.

He serenades her with the memories of their youthful love; a tree that promised warm and tender fruit.

How badly he’d failed to tend her blossoms.

His knees meet the icy concrete; she steps away, long hair dancing like liquid darkness, to leave only gravity and his constant remonstrations weighing on his sanity and turning her name into screams.

But she would get on that bus, the longing would begin and she would look down on his wet and confused face from behind the frosty glass on a journey to the end of the line.

And he will know she is gone for the very last time.