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"Life is supposed to be difficult," he said taking a long swig for his ornate hip flask, "It’s the struggle against the infinite violence of a universe.” I smiled, perhaps he was right or perhaps he was just an asshole making it up as he went along, but the gravity of his remark struck me unexpectedly. The default to life was indeed struggle, for all life not just intelligent life; why would I be exempt. I didn’t care for the man and his insidious gloat of pomposity. Nothing is absolute, nothing certain, which makes the possibilities boundless. The joy of life is making it from one moment to the next through adversity and earning the things the things people say about you when you arrive at your freshly dug grave carried by those you hold dearest.

Wednesday, 2 July 2014

Troubled Nightmares

Clayton McKinley groans into consciousness as the sunlight blasts away the remains of his troubled nightmares.  Shadows creep as the light dances through the tiny single bed apartment on the 6th floor he calls home.   

At least I made it to the couch, is his first thought; it’s not a happy one. He sits up, rubs his eyes; across the shabby living room, in the only other chair, rests a familiar figure dressed in a deeply red suit, blue shirt and black tie.

“We have dealings Mr McKinley,” says the steely toned voice, his short blonde hair unnaturally cultured; a toothy grin on his weltered and scarred face.

Clayton aches, his head pounds and trying to recall his visitor’s name is a struggle worth foregoing.

“I bare you gifts Mr McKinley,” says the figure pointing to a pair of Glock 9mms on the battered coffee table.

He recognises them immediately.

“Lincoln Garfield-Kennedy at your pleasure,” he introduces  himself grinning menacingly, a desperate void comes over the two men.

“I have one purpose Mr McKinley,” says Lincoln cutting into the silence, “I am here to facilitate your madness.”  His teeth glow in the enduring sunlight. “Do you recall the events that brought us to this point? Last night?  Think a minute it will come to you.”

Clayton covers his face and exhales, what is this sceptre talking about? The haze lifts unexpectedly, a street, a pub, a girl dancing, a cab, it dawns on him she’s still here. The suddenness of his realisation punches him square in the gut with the force of a prize fighter. He turns to look at the closed bedroom door with foreboding.

“She’s in there lying lifeless on the bed, red eyed and purple lipped,” whispers Lincoln, as if not to wake her, “You had fun last night. Be assured, she suffered greatly”.

Clayton’s stomach gives-way in a wave of bile and booze, it spews through his fingers and onto the filthy carpet before he can do anything about it.

“You strangled her with her own panties, you sic f***”.

“Why are you here?” says Clayton, when the heaving eventually subsides enough. He knows the answer even before the question is uttered; his throat burns and tears glisten in his bloodshot eyes.

“I am here to relieve you, unburden you of the guilt and remorse. You sir, are a predator and they are lambs. You have a need for mayhem and destruction.

“Now I could tell you that this is because your father beat you like rug, or your whore mother rejected you as a child or even that the gods have chosen you to do their terrible biddings against the wicked.

“What it all comes down to is this; Killing is who you are, like a singer sings or an artist draws naked b*****s, it makes you whole”. 
        
There is no denying this; Clayton recalls the powerful elation that came over him in the seconds that her life slipped through his fists.

“Pick up your weapons harbinger, bring savagery to the civilised; bring the darkness of Hell to the sheep.”

He obeys.

“Bring them death,” says Lincoln.

Clayton pauses at the front door, looks at his bare feet and putrid soaked clothing and steps out despite of this, guns at his side ready for malicious intent.


As the shots and screams rise in the morning air Lincoln throws his head back and laughs.

Wednesday, 18 June 2014

I seek

I seek Darkness 
In the folds of time
To hide my insecurities 
They plague me in the day light 
And reflect the pain I bare 

I seek darkness 
In secret places
To carry me from my foes 
To shield me from their searching eyes 
And strike fear into their souls

I seek darkness
In the silence
To set my mind to rest
A bridge of warm black serenity
From this world to the next

Thursday, 27 March 2014

A Night



Out of the stormy tears
in my frightened heart.


A breath upon my soul,
promises a shining new start.

Hold me like yours,
a child so close, so sure,

That there will be a day,
from the darkness that is so pure.

Tuesday, 18 March 2014

The ‘To Do’ list

Life is long and there is so much to see and be a part of. So I have decided to write a list of the 30 things I’d like to do most before I have to settle down and be a grown up. I hope this inspires you to write a list of your own:

1)      Eat a Cornetto.
2)      Drink Viper blood in a bar in Hong Kong.
3)      Drive Route 66.
4)      Base Jump.
5)      See Budapest.
6)      Eat a Philly Cheese Steak.
7)      Eat a Hot Dog in New York.
8)      See Florence.
9)      Visit the Haj Sofia.
10)   Meet an Eskimo.
11)   Sail the Med.
12)   See Vic falls and Great Zimbabwe.
13)   Trek Scotland and see the Northern lights.
14)   Fire an AK 47.
15)   Read “Crime and Punishment” by Dostoyevsky.
16)   Write a novel.
17)   Hug a million people.
18)   Party at a Chase and Status Gig.
19)   See the Black Keys in concert.
20)   Learn to read Music.
21)   Go back to Ethiopia.  
22)   Surf.
23)   Catch a river shark on the Zambezi River.
24)   Have a feature Published in the ‘New Yorker’.
25)   Be in a Shakespeare production.
26)   Set a copy of “Need for Speed: Underground” (for Xbox) on fire and scatter the ashes on Jim Morrison’s grave (either you haven’t played NfS or you don’t know who Jim Morrison is”).
27)   Read an inspiring piece to people on tube.
28)   Take a selfie with Marisa Tomei.
29)   Give away my most prized possession.
30)   Find out and acquire the thing Tina wants most.


If there is anyone of these you’d like to participate in by all means tell me in the comment section below, I'm quite determined to make this list happen.  

Friday, 14 March 2014

An Autumn

The autumnal colours break the boring grey, vibrant yellows, reds and flame oranges among the dying green. Finger like twigs, point to the coming of the icy blasts, to the north. We ride this spinning rock, what a trip, what a beautiful fall.

They amble along the concrete river while a breath dances between their feet, swirling lazily the leaves that cover the ground. Busy with self importance, the spectacle is lost on this unnatural breed, a veritable paradise to we who would only look. The summer dies a righteous death.

Breaking daylight singes the deep cloud; a slither of warm light touches the broad rim of a hat I bare, so I tip it to expose the flesh of my skull, pale, starved, it soaks nourishment from this scarce resource.


Sensational waves tingle in my mind, shadows vanish, clarity becomes. Worshippers would use this moment to speak of God, artists of inspiration, those that look, an event never to be seen again, like a fleeting glance of a crashing star or the very moment you fell in love, and what a beautiful time to be in love.

Saturday, 25 January 2014

Broken Flowers



We are a bouquet of broken flowers.
The unwanted seeds, no one expected to grow,
Cast on stony soil.
A song written on the unread parchment.
The Music of a lost Generation, no one wanted to hear.

And yet here we are.
Standing barefoot in fields of shattered glass
With our heads held high.
In full bloom and full voice,
Too beautiful to be ignored.





Wednesday, 20 November 2013

The Ten Best Break-Up Lines Ever

10) You might not have noticed this, I've de-friended you on Facebook and changed my status to single, I suggest you do the same.

9) The position of girlfriend has been outsourced to India your services will no longer be required, consider this e-mail to be your severance package.

8) I know that I will regret this decision the minute you close the front door, so can you leave through the kitchen so my neighbours don’t have to see you crying.

7) I'm sorry dear but I found a cleaning lady and a prostitute to do what you do at half the cost.

6) I got good news and bad news, bad news is it’s over, good news is I never have to see you again.

5) I'm renting out your side of the bed.

4) Buy a cat B***h.

3) I feel you need to see other people too.

2) It’s not you, it’s me, I find you repulsive.


1) You have to make a choice; it’s either me or chocolate.